I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
