We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
she woke up with a sticky ear
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
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