imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
