I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
