Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
