So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
