oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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