We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
