i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
