in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
