my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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