remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
