So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
