R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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