don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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