Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
