Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
PANTIES FOUND
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