Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Randomize
