Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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