I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
