why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Randomize
