Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
