Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
