Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
well, you know. whores of a feather.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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