he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize