lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
