FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
