yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
