the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
