Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
