no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
