so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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