Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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