So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Define "chronic" masturbator.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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