dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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