Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
