if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
