he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
