then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
