so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize