I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
