is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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