Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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