I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
