Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
