so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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