sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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