Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize