its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
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