Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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