i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
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