it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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