question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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