Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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