I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize