cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize