Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
