just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I just found puke in my bra..
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
