WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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