i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Randomize
