Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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