The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
