Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize